Last modified: 1/1/01

SYNOPSIS:  (spoilers) A sequel to "Freedom".  After Zidane's return,
Dagger leads him away for a private chat.

=*= SPOILER WARNING! =*= SPOILER WARNING! =*= SPOILER WARNING!  =*= 
=*= This story contains major SPOILERS for the end of the game! =*=

This is a rough draft and has not been extensively proofread, so
please excuse the errors.   Comments & criticism always appreciated!  
^_^

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    WINGS
        A Final Fantasy IX fanfic by Madamhydra
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Short Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at end)
    All rights and privileges to Final Fantasy IX and its characters
belong to Square Co., Ltd.   

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Text Conventions
    (  ) are mental dialogue

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[ some time later.... ]

Zidane followed me with a faintly bemused expression as we both
slipped away from the ongoing celebration.  Leaving all the commotion
behind, we climbed the long stairway to the platform that once
concealed the steps leading to the summoning place of Alexander.  

Turning to him, I lifted my pendant and held it out to him.  He cocked
his head slightly as if asking a silent question.  When I nodded, he
pulled off a glove and I gently placed the gleaming stone into his
outstretched hand.

"Close your eyes and... reach out."

I couldn't explain it better to him, but I was certain that he
understood what I meant.  

As we stood there, away from the distraction of others, I finally had
the chance to take a long, thorough look at him.  In the two long
years since I had last seen him, bravely standing on the barren cliff
by the Iifa Tree, Zidane had both changed and remained the same.  

Physically, he was a bit taller, with just a little more muscle and
height to his slender frame.  Then again, I had grown a bit, too.  He
still had that same quick wit, ready smile, and easy-going
personality.  The only real difference I could detect was a
fascinating sense of *depth* to him.  But that was no surprise.  After
all, I was certain that he had somehow managed to tame the Iifa Tree,
transforming it from an instrument of Gaia's destruction into....  The
idea still boggled my mind, even after all this time.  Stopping the
Iifa Tree in its tracks was amazing enough, but the creation of a new
Eidolon?  

When I leapt onto the stage and threw myself in Zidane's arms in front
of the wildly cheering crowd, I didn't know what to expect and I
really didn't care.  But as soon as I touched him... as soon as I felt
him hold me close, I knew that he was the same free-spirited, yet
caring rogue I had fallen in love with -- a person who was both a
little wild and fiercely loyal.

Ever since my coronation, I had been given ample opportunity to see
the finest young men that the noble and merchant houses of Alexandria,
Treno, and even Lindblum to offer.  Those men may have had better
looks, fancier manners, and better educations than Zidane, but in my
mind, there was still no comparison.  In some undefinable way, Zidane
was simply MORE than they could ever be.  I couldn't explain it to
myself, much less anyone else.  It was just a feeling of... comfort,
like snuggling into a warm blanket on a cold winter morning.  

As I continued to examine his face, I could now see the subtle,
tantalizing hints of what he would look like when he got older.  I
seriously doubted that he would ever be as purely pretty as Kuja,
which was a bit of a relief, nor would he be incredibly handsome like
some of my other would-be suitors, but I could tell Zidane would have
a delightful, masculine beauty all his own.  As my dear father would
have said, Zidane would be a man with *true* character. 

For an instant, I felt the decidedly unladylike urge to throw my arms
around him and yell, "Mine!  All mine!"  But I managed to restrain
myself.  I really wanted him to understand what I'm trying to show
him.

He finally murmured, "I feel... something.  Like rustling wings...." 
He suddenly stiffened and opened his sea-blue eyes wide.  "It... it
can't be!  But I thought that the Invincible destroyed....!?"

"Yes, Alexander is still here," I said, smiling at him.  Even now, the
thought made a lump rise in my throat.

"How can that be!?" he demanded in amazement.

"I'm not sure, but Dr. Tot theorizes that Alexander was a special type
of Eidolon.  It's not bonded to an object or a single person like the
others.  Somehow, it's an integral part of Alexandria.  I'm not
talking about just the physical structure of the city, but rather the
real heart and soul of this place."

He frowned slightly in confusion, then said softly, "The people."

I nodded happily.  Of course he understood.  "Exactly.  The *people*
are the heart and soul of Alexandria, not the buildings.  Invincible
came very close to destroying Alexander, but when the people began
rebuild their homes and their lives, Alexander also began to heal.  As
long as there is an Alexandria... as long as there are people who care
and are proud to consider themselves Alexandrians, Alexander will be
here to protect them."

He lowered his hand and gently let the pendant drop to hang freely
from the chain around my neck. 

"Just as you intend to serve and protect them, right?" he said gently.

"Yes.  Brahne... my mother... abandoned that duty to pursue her own
ambitions.  The people trusted her and she abused that trust.  I owe
the people of Alexandria the best that I can give them."

He suddenly gave me a wry grin.  "Hey, I can understand that feeling. 
About wanting to help and protect people, especially the ones you care
about, you know."

Oh yes, I knew that you, of all people, would understand how I felt. 

Biting my lip, I wondered what to do next.  So many questions, but I
didn't have any idea how to begin or what to say.  What happened at
Iifa?  What about the Tree?  What happened between him and Kuja?  What
took him so long to return?  Finally, all I could do was gather my
courage and simply asked the most important question of all.

"Zidane... back at Iifa, you couldn't really give me an answer when I
asked you why you had to go back to help Kuja.  Can... can you give me
one now?"

He turned to stare out at the afternoon sky.  Finally he responded to
my timid question.

"I wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone." 

Such a simple answer, but sometimes the simplest ones are the best.

"And... did you?  Tell him, I mean?"

"I told him."

"Did he... understand?"

"Yeah."

I pondered his answers for several long minutes.  I suspected if I
wanted more from him, I could just ask.  Zidane had never lied to me
and I didn't think he was about to start now.  But I suddenly realized
that I really didn't need to know more.  It would be nice, of course,
to hear all the details, but it wasn't necessary for me.

All this time I waited for him, I had been bothered by the question of
'why?'.  I constantly asked myself why he went back to find the person
who had just tried to destroy us all.  I now knew the answer to my
most important question.    

Zidane had left me behind, but he had not left me alone.  Unlike Kuja,
there had been so many people there for me.  Steiner and Beatrix. 
Uncle Cid and Aunt Hilda.  Vivi, Eiko, Freya... all the people who had
fought, struggled, and sacrificed to keep our world alive.  Even Quina
and Amarant, in their own peculiar ways.  It didn't matter we were
scattered all over the world.  Physical distance wasn't important. 
They cared about me.  I cared about them.  We all supported each
other.  Zidane had always been there, too, just like a fine,
unbreakable thread connecting all of us.

In comparison, Kuja was alone... had apparently always *been* alone. 
Who cared about him?  Certainly not Garland, nor any of the other
Genomes.  Who had ever cared about Kuja and what happened to him?

Zidane knew that.  That's why he risked his life and everything we
could had together to go back to find Kuja.  Zidane had needed to tell
Kuja that someone cared and understood.  Zidane had said, 'I might've
done the same thing if I were in his shoes.'  

Now I realized that it was never a matter of choosing between Kuja and
me.  It was just that Kuja had needed Zidane in a way I did not. 
Zidane was the only person that Kuja would have believed.  How could I
deny someone a last bit of comfort before dying?

I had no idea if Kuja was dead or alive.  But it really didn't matter
anymore.  The fact that Zidane was here by my side, at peace with both
Kuja and himself, told me that the matter's been settled, one way or
another.  Kuja was no longer a threat to anyone.  

And if Kuja was somehow still alive and free, so what?  Let him create
a new life for himself and seek what contentment he could, just as I
was carrying on with my own.  However, I hoped that his path never
crossed mine again.  I didn't have Zidane's ability to let things go. 
I still held a few grudges against Kuja.  All the weapons he created,
all the lives he destroyed....  I couldn't help thinking that he was
instrumental in the corruption of my mother, constantly feeding her
greed and ambition until she turned into a power-mad monster that I
could not recognize.

I suspected that Freya felt much the same way about Beatrix.  She may
never forgive Beatrix for her role in the destruction of Burmecia and
Cleyra, but Freya had no interest in vendettas or retribution.  She
has much better things to do -- a old/new love to cherish and a
kingdom to rebuild.  She knew enough about Beatrix to know that the
general would be her own harshest judge and critic.  

Zidane glanced at me, as if waiting for more questions, but I really
wasn't in the mood to ask.  As for the matter of the Iifa Tree...
well, that would wait, also.  There was no hurry.  I had something
more important to tell him.  I took a deep breath, and braced myself
to make a painful confession.

"Zidane... I have to tell you....  When I returned to Alexandria, I
found myself wondering what I would do if... when you came back.  I
questioned whether you could ever belong in a place like this. 
Whether this castle was right for you.... I even thought of sending
you away."

"Oh."

Hearing the oddly flat tone in his voice, I quickly put my hand on his
arm and said, "But that was wrong of me.  You see, I loved working to
rebuild Alexandria, but I hated all the pomp and ceremony that went
with being queen.  I felt that I was choking from all the customs and
meaningless rituals, but I had no way to escape.  I couldn't run away
from my responsibilities and duties."

He reached up and brushed a stray wisp of hair from my face.  I
grabbed his hand and pressed it against my cheek.

"And if *I* hated it so much, then surely you would hate it, too.  I
was sure you would hate living here, and... I think I was afraid that
you would start to hate me, too."

"I could never do that, Dagger."

"I was unhappy with life in the castle, and that made me afraid that
you would be unhappy here, too.  I didn't want you to be unhappy, so I
thought about sending you away, but that idea only made me even more
unhappy...."

"Which made you even more certain that I'd be miserable here, and it
all became a vicious circle, huh?"

I nodded, unable to look at him.

"So what changed your mind?" he asked gently.

"I had a long talk with Doctor Tot.  He said I was borrowing trouble
and that it was really your choice to make, not mine."

I peeked upward to find Zidane grinning mischievously at me.  "Well,
you were amd yes, it is."

I gave him a good thump on the chest and he grunted obligingly.

"So, the doc managed to get you straightened out, huh?"

"Yes, and I felt a lot better after our talk."

"That's a relief.  You're not the only one who hates to make the
person they love unhappy."

"Thinking of you never made me unhappy, Zidane.  It was my own
foolishness that did that." I hesitated, then plunged on.  "I just
wanted to tell you that no matter where you are, whether you're by my
side or roaming the world, I will always be waiting to welcome you
back with open arms.  Just like Alexander, I will always been here for
you."

"To be my sanctuary, my retreat?" he asked softly.

"If that's what you need."

He reached out and tugged me into his arms.

"The only place I want to be is where my heart is.  And that's with
you, Dagger."

We stood there, holding each other, content to listen to each other's
heartbeat.   Suddenly, I heard the soft flutter of wings overhead.  I
felt Zidane lift his head, then chuckle.  I opened my eyes and turned
my head to see what he found so funny.  To my surprise, I discovered
we were surrounded by a flock of small, tawny gold hawks.  They
perched all around us, their brilliant blue eyes watching us with
uncanny interest.  

As Zidane uttered another soft chuckle, the hawks all took to the sky.
 We both watched and laughed as the golden roguehearts danced on the
wind, filling the sky above Alexandria Castle with flashes of their
tawny gold wings.  And soaring elegantly above the frolicking hawks
was a great white eagle with violet-tipped plumage, its head decorated
by a handful of long crest feathers. 

At first I could only stare at the eagle in disbelief as a crazy idea
hit me, then I looked at the golden hawks and thought, (Why not?  It
would be just like him to do something like that if he could....)  

I turned back to Zidane and hugged him as fiercely as I could.

He uttered a soft 'eep' of surprise, and bemusedly asked, "What was
that for?"

"THAT was for giving *everyone* another chance to live."

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Keeper of Duo's Dark Side ~~~ Duo no Seishi
Co-Keeper of Duo's Scythe & Bat Wings (w/ Death)
Co-Keeper of Little Grim Reaper Duo (w/ Kitsune)
Saitoh no Koibito ~~~ Corruptor Extraordinaire
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madamhydra@aol.com              /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/
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The Full Disclaimer:
    All rights and privileges to Final Fantasy IX and its characters
belong to Square Co., Ltd.  The characters of this series are used
withOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only.  This work
of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.                
    Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be
the sole property and copyrighted to the author.
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